Some people call their Auntie “Anty”. However, the truth is the following: A human female may rightly be referred to as “Auntie.” A member of the insect species known as “ant” can be an “Anty” if it is both ontologically an “ant” (in regard to its being and essence), and categorically or sociologically an “aunt” of another ant thus making it “anty” because of both its ant-ness (ontologically) and auntie-ness (sociologically). Therefore, in conclusion, an “auntie” is a human aunt, and an “anty” is an ant auntie. But if a human auntie is to be referred to as “anty” she must then transform into an ant, but we don’t yet have that technology from the scientists. [I had this revelation while drinking Tropicana orange juice].

— from the article: Frederick, John. “The Etymology of ‘Anty’: Recent Findings in the Hermeneutics of Insect” in The Dictionary of Crustaceans, All-Purpose Wizardry, and Other Strange and Erroneous Phenomena (edited by Francis H. Snickerdoodle, with a preface by Lord Winston Walnut III, with an exceedingly boring and useless forward by Bert Monkey; New York: Pigeon Disco Press, 1979), pp. 472-95.


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